For Christmasse, I got ful manye godely giftes of pannes and disshes of gold, and a forke of golde eke (Wist I nat forwhy any man woulde given me a forke of golde, oonly hethenes ete with swych ungodly thynges what lack in dignitee.) For my Johne, I stiched up a bagge with an image of a licourn and a swan, and I boughte Ninja Turtles for alle my childeren.
The Plauntagenets have wonne ayain at the yeres Christmasse drinkyng tourney. (Those are grete men and long, so they may drink mower in a sete than moost men in a day.) Ever sin Le Prince Noir hath deyed, and Kinge Edward eke, my Johne is ever the conqueror and even his brothors who come in neightest, Thomas and Edmund, are left sleeping in the hay. Lite Johne sought to be alyk to his father, and yet he oonly managed to grow very very seke and dronke, and to find a maid to tend him who was nat in lyk state was nat a task of ese! (Some say maides should nat drink to swych a state, but I say swive that, hit is Christmasse, where Jesu would all men and maides alyke be drunk. For what othor thyng is done to celebrate a birth?) I could nat tend him myselfe; I was too drunke.
I spoke wyth Lady Wake, who is the maid to some of Johnes othor childeren (I am maid to Kataline al oone, and to myn own because I am nat nooble enough to have myn own maides, though Hugh was a knight) and she said "Merde alors! Hit is nat yete Terce and I am dronke!" And I sayd "Me to, for hit is left over from last night." And hit was mower jolly when thou were there.
And so the dronken revelrie ywent, lyk eche yere. The pesauntes we let in the Savoy were nat too villainous and mad, and did nat set no thyng aflame nor swyve thynges which oughte hem nat, so hit was trim fun for alle.