mere_de_vii (mere_de_vii) wrote,

Desertes to Constanze

On yestre dey, I was ydronk with caudell whan that bytch Constaunze came to me and creyed “M’aide! Mon chien est malade!” and I quod, “Yis, certes a bytch as the would care for thyn hounde so,” but then I quod in Frensshe, whych she may actually speke, “Belle et bonne; que vouillez vos?” Then she sayth we mote take hit to a leche. I telle hir, I thinke my Johnes leche est esvanide, and she telleth she wist as muche, and thus she nede helpe forto taken the beeste to a carte that we may find another leche who be nat so dronke. Mayhaps in hethen Spanye they doe nat know man may nat find a leche in Engeland who is nat fordrunken at Cristmasstide, becausen the Spanyardes aren all forswoken with swiving hir sibbes megesseth. And then she sheweth me an hound what hath snutt yronnen from hits nase in swych degree that hit maketh vastes lakes upon the ground, and then the beeste cogheth. Then she (Constanze) gan to speken hir hethen speke, something like “pobrocanne” and the dogge noysed as yf hit were vomitinge, but ne was it ydoe of no swych dede.
So, I felt a lite badde for thyse hounde, as to be Constanzes would nat be badd enogh. And I sayd “D’accord; qu’allons.”
Then the dogge puked full upon hir lappe and deyed.

On thyse dey, my childeren haven timbred up a manne of sneow.

  • (no subject)

    Sayen hem Jean Wyclef be selling steroydes. Sayth me: Hwat?…

  • Wordes be nat fit

    Thyse be the moost beschitte Seint Katherines dey evere. The yere past, I was given grete presentes from my chere Johnne, who is mine namoore. Eala,…

  • Boke II

    O mightye dung!!! Whan laste wrote me of the tale on how thynges fell witte nobles atte Tower, soddenly I discerned, that betwixt Constaunze and me…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.